Learning how to manage change more effectively will help you to be better equipped and more positive when it happens to you. So here are a few things to think about:
1. Embrace change
"It seldom happens that a man changes his life through his habitual reasoning. No matter how fully he may sense the new plans and aims revealed to him by reason, he continues to plod along in old paths until his life becomes frustrating and unbearable – he finally makes the change only when his usual life can no longer be tolerated."
Leo Tolstoy
I think sadly this can be true and sometimes we procrastinate, putting off the inevitable. The danger is that we are wasting precious time in our lives being unhappy when we could turn it all around by embracing change.
2. Be open minded
Your mind is like a parachute: it works best when it is open. Sometimes we can drag the baggage of the past and superimpose it on to situations without being open-minded and taking a fresh perspective. One thing that I hear a great deal from people who resist change is “Well we tried that before and it didn’t work”. Every situation is different and just because something didn’t work last time it doesn’t mean it won’t work this time.
3. Prepare your emotions
Accept the fact that you may be emotional during the change process. In the face of change you may feel unhappy, fearful, insecure, unsettled, frustrated. On the other side of the table however you may feel enthusiastic, elated, delighted and excited. Any of those emotions will have an impact on your energy levels so it is really important to prepare yourself.
4. Relax and go with the flow
Sometimes change happens and we have absolutely no control over it whatsoever. When this happens you have to choose how you are going to respond. If you resist change and remain rigid and inflexible it will be a lot more difficult and even painful. Going with the flow sometimes is the best approach. It may help to think of yourself as a boat in a storm. If you turn against the waves they will crush you, if you go with them they will carry you home.
5. Be Positive
Having a positive attitude about change is the right mind set to cultivate. If we go into a change situation believing that it is negative then we are more likely to experience negative outcomes. Whilst it is important to understand some of the risks and pitfalls involved it is also important to focus on positive outcomes.
6. Keep calm and carry on
This old war expression is very apt. Some people literally panic when change happens because it totally destabilises their world. If change is happening to you and it’s quite big then keep up as many familiar things as you can as a reminder of how much there is in your life that isn’t changing. Stick to your usual routines, see people you normally see, and reassure yourself that not everything has to change just because some things have.
7. Get support
You don’t need to try to cope alone or keep your feelings to yourself. This can actually be very unhelpful; repressing emotion can cause stress. Talk about it, have a hug, try to see the light hearted side of the situation and get a bit of reassurance. Being brave doesn’t really win you any awards these days and will always mean managing your issues alone. It may mean finding the courage to ask for help; however, a supportive friend can be the very best tonic and also help you to get another perspective.
8. Challenge your perspective
Sometimes the way we view a situation can be very narrow because we are perceiving it through our own filter and will bench mark it perhaps against our previous experiences. It is important to really examine and look at the situation from all angles. Be careful not to get yourself stuck up a one way street with your thinking. There is always another angle and another perspective.
9. Chunk up change
If you are dealing with a big change, where possible, try to divide the bigger changes into smaller steps. For instance, a house move, a wedding or a divorce involves several stages. When you feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the change, concentrate on the step you’ve reached, rather than the bigger picture.
10. Make a plan
Change can overwhelm us, especially when our minds race and we start to imagine all sorts of things that could happen. We begin to catastrophise and before we know it we feel completely out of control. A good way to gain control and settle our minds is to make a plan of what we are going to do. Prepare contingency. Write it all down so that you can actually see it. Very often it’s what we don’t know and we can’t see that scares us the most, especially those of us with wild and vivid imaginations.
In Summary
Every change will have some impact and sometimes the issue with change is that it has a cluster effect. One change often seems to be followed by several more, and it can feel as though your whole world is changing – and that can be quite overwhelming. It is important to get your head around that so that you can deal with it in the most positive and constructive way. Your attitude to change is what will help you to cope with it in the most effective way.
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly"
Richard Bach
